Vicissitudes and Victories

In One Year

My girlfriend asked me tonight where I thought we'd be in one year, and truthfully I had no idea where we would be--just some random thoughts about possible outcomes and perhaps a few hopes. The question, however, started me thinking about the future and the possibilities it might bring. I am currently awaiting word from various PhD programs around the country about whether they will accept me to come study history. I also have a few possible employment options for the summer. I have a beautiful, intelligent, and loving girlfriend who brightens my days and helps me aspire to greater goodness in my life. So to sum up my future with one word, I would say that the next year yields uncertainty--at least right now.

Uncertainty, at least at some level, has always terrified me, yet for some reason it keeps creeping into my life. At any moment when I start to feel like I understand the direction in which my life is headed, uncertainty rears its disruptive influence . I try not to be bitter; uncertainty often brings pleasant surprises. More often than not, I have been supremely blessed to meet great people, study at great schools, and find great jobs. Unfortunately, many unforeseen trials still cause me to fear the reality of life's uncertainty.

I guess I just need to accept the path that opens before me. I just wish I knew the end from the beginning, and I could see the result of my current affection and ambitions one year from now.

posted by Joel @ 11:51 PM